just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize