HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
