No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
