i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
