Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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