He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
