I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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