yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
