if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
