You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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