she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize