Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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