Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
