I'm really into asian looking animals
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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