Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
