Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
