All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
