I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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