I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
