Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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