thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
