Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
