Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
