OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
