Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize