I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
