Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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