if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
