It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i used baking grease as lip gloss
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
