it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
