I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
