So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
