If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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