I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are we still banned from the library?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
