You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
