"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
