Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
