chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
