Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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