barbara walters just said penis...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
