walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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