genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
two words...techno handjob
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
