I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
