Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
