Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
