What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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