areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
