Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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