She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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