Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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