I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
