I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
