you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
