My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
