the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
