And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
