...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
